you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I need moral support for this bender
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
