I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
