it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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