I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
