do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
