i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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