I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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