i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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