If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
