he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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