I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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