words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
