Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
