Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
