Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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