It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
