He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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