I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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