i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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