I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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