I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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