Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
