Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
