I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize