I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
The dick lei will go down in squad history
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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