and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Randomize
