You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize