haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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