I only kidnapped one of them. chill
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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