Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
my mouth tastes like poor choices
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
