I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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