Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
