I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
