i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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