She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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