and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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