Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize