Me. At least after what I've been through.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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