you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
