i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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