Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize