Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
