After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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