y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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