The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
