Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize