No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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