I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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