Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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