Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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