i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize