honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
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