Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Drake has all the answers
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize