Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
