Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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