Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
