i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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