you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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