i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
why didn't you poke me back
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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