so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
i think i just lost a toe
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
