I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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