Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
