Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
love makes seman taste better
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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